Things I'm Too Tired to Pretend About Anymore

When honesty becomes self-care

Tender Tuesday for the exhausted. That's what today is. I'm tired - bone-deep, soul-level tired - and I'm done pretending otherwise. I'm done with the performance of having it all together when most days I'm just trying to keep it from all falling apart.

So here are the things I'm too tired to pretend about anymore. Consider this my exhausted confession.

The Life Basics I've Given Up Pretending About

I'm tired of pretending I have my shit together. My life is held together with coffee, determination, and the hope that nobody looks too closely at the seams. Most days I'm just winging it and hoping for the best.

I'm tired of pretending cereal for dinner isn't a meal plan. Some nights, oatmeal is what's for dinner, and I'm not apologizing for it anymore. It has milk and comfort, it counts.

I'm tired of pretending I don't wear the same three outfits on rotation. I found what works, what's comfortable, what makes me feel like myself, and I'm going to wear those same black joggers until they disintegrate. Fashion variety is overrated when you're rebuilding your entire life.

The Mental Health Reality I Can't Fake Anymore

I'm tired of pretending I don't cry at random songs. Yesterday it was a Mozart. Last week it was the grocery store playlist. Sometimes your emotions just need an outlet, and apparently mine have chosen the most inconvenient soundtrack possible.

I'm tired of pretending I'm fine when people ask how I'm doing. "Fine" has become my default response when what I really mean is "I'm barely holding it together but thank you for asking." Maybe it's time to start saying that instead.

I'm tired of pretending therapy is working faster than it actually is. Healing isn't linear, progress isn't always visible, and sometimes you spend entire sessions talking about why you ate pasta for breakfast. That's still progress, even when it doesn't feel like it.

The Career Crisis I Can't Sugarcoat

I'm tired of pretending this career transition is "exciting" instead of terrifying. Yes, it's growth. Yes, it's an opportunity. It's also scary as hell and some days I want to crawl back to the safety of my old job, even though it was slowly killing my soul.

I'm tired of pretending I know what I'm doing with my life. I'm 46 and I'm still figuring it out. Turns out you don't magically receive a life manual when you hit middle age. Who knew?

The Solo Living Truths I've Been Hiding

I'm tired of pretending I don't talk to my cat like she pays rent. We have full conversations about her day, her opinions on my life choices, and her thoughts on the current political climate. She's an excellent listener and gives surprisingly good advice.

I'm tired of pretending I don't eat standing over the sink. Sometimes lunch is consumed while standing in the kitchen, straight from the container, because sitting at a table for one feels too formal for my current life phase.

The Beautiful Truth About Exhausted Honesty

Here's what I've learned from being too tired to pretend: honesty is exhausting, but pretending is more exhausting. Keeping up appearances takes energy I don't have. Maintaining a facade requires resources I'm currently using to rebuild my entire existence.

And maybe that's okay. Maybe admitting I'm tired, that I don't have it figured out, that I eat cereal for dinner and cry at random songs, isn't weakness. Maybe it's the most human thing I can do.

The Permission I'm Giving Myself (And You)

I'm too tired to pretend that admitting this makes me weak instead of human. Sometimes tender means honest. Sometimes self-care looks like dropping the performance and just being real about where you are.

You don't have to have your shit together. You don't have to know what you're doing. You don't have to eat proper meals or wear different outfits every day or pretend you're fine when you're not.

You're allowed to be tired. You're allowed to be figuring it out. You're allowed to talk to your pets like they're your therapists and eat whatever keeps you going.

The Exhausted Community

What are you too tired to pretend about anymore? What performance are you ready to drop? What honest truth have you been carrying that you're ready to set down?

Maybe we can all be tired together. Maybe we can drop the pretense and just be humans who are doing their best with what they have. Maybe that's enough.

Maybe being too tired to pretend is actually the beginning of being authentic.

Today's Tender Truth

Today, I choose exhausted honesty over performed perfection.

Sometimes the most tender thing you can do for yourself is stop pretending everything is fine and admit that you're tired. That you're figuring it out. That you're human.

And sometimes that admission is exactly what someone else needs to hear to know they're not alone in their own exhausted truth.

Because sometimes the bravest thing you can do is stop pretending you're not exhausted and just be human instead.

Where being too tired to pretend becomes an act of radical self-care.