I Don’t Want to, But I'm Doing It Anyway

When keeping promises to yourself matters more than motivation

Wild Card Wednesday, and I hoped I’d do something elaborate for today. Something creative, engaging, probably involving props or at least getting off my butt. But honestly? I'm too tired for wild cards today.

So, today's experiment is admitting I don't want to do this - and doing it anyway.

The Promise Problem

I'm just getting tired of doing the TikTok videos. There, I said it. Day 24 of my 30-day challenge, and the novelty has worn off, the initial excitement has faded, and what's left is just... showing up because I said I would.

But here's the thing: I made a promise to myself. And I haven't always kept my promises to myself in the past. I've started things and quit when they got hard. I've made commitments and broken them when I lost motivation. I've told myself "I'll start tomorrow" more times than I can count.

But when you're serious about rewriting your life, I believe you have to keep those promises to yourself. You have to show up daily, do the uncomfortable, and cringe through it even when every fiber of your being wants to curl up on the couch instead.

The Truth About Motivation

Here's what nobody tells you about making changes: motivation is bullshit. It comes and goes like the weather. Some days you wake up ready to conquer the world, and other days you wake up wondering why you thought any of this was a good idea.

The secret isn't staying motivated. The secret is showing up anyway.

It's about feeling your truth every day, even when your truth is "I don't want to do this but I'm going to do it because I said I would." Especially when your truth is that.

The Question for You

I've got 6 more days to go in this challenge. Six more days of showing up, whether I feel like it or not. Six more days of choosing commitment over comfort.

How many days have you kept a promise to yourself? How many days have you faltered?

I'm not asking you to judge yourself. I'm asking because I want you to think about what it means to show up for yourself when showing up is the last thing you want to do.

The Self-Compassion Balance

But here's the other side of this: we have to be kinder to ourselves while still showing up. There's a difference between self-discipline and self-punishment. There's a difference between keeping your word and beating yourself up for not being perfect.

Stop lying to yourself about what you can handle. Do what you can and don't beat yourself up for anything else. Some days "what you can" is a full production with perfect lighting and inspiring content. Other days "what you can" is sitting on your couch admitting you don't want to be there but showing up anyway.

Both count. Both matter. Both are keeping your promise to yourself.

What Showing Up Actually Looks Like

Sometimes, showing up looks like enthusiasm, energy, and perfectly executed plans. Sometimes it looks like this - tired, honest, doing the bare minimum because the bare minimum is still showing up.

The wildest thing I can do today isn't some elaborate experiment or creative challenge. The wildest thing I can do is keep my word to myself when I don't feel like it.

That's the real challenge. That's the real growth. That's the real test of whether you're serious about changing your life or just playing with the idea of it.

The Discipline Nobody Talks About

Real discipline isn't motivation. Real discipline isn't even consistency. Real discipline is the ability to do what you said you'd do when you don't want to do it anymore.

It's showing up tired. It's showing up uninspired. It's showing up when the voice in your head is listing all the reasons why you should skip today, why it doesn't matter, why nobody will notice.

It's doing it anyway because you notice. Because you matter. Because your word to yourself is the most important promise you'll ever make or break.

Today's Honest Truth

Today, I admit what I don't want to do, but do it anyway.

This is what commitment looks like in real life. Not always pretty, not always enthusiastic, but always present. Always showing up. Always choosing to honor the person you said you'd become over the person you feel like being today.

The Final Six Days

Sometimes the wildest thing is just keeping your word to yourself. Even when you're tired. Even when you don't want to. Even when it would be easier to quit with only six days left.

Six more days, whether I feel like it or not.

Because that's what people who rewrite their lives do. They show up. Especially when they don't want to.

The Permission and The Challenge

You have permission to not love every step of your journey. You have permission to be tired, to not want to do the thing, to show up anyway and not feel guilty about the lack of enthusiasm.

But you don't have permission to quit on yourself. Not when you're this close. Not when keeping this one promise could be the thing that changes everything.

How many more days will you keep showing up for yourself? How many more promises will you keep when keeping them is the hardest thing you could do?

The answer to that question might just be the answer to who you're becoming.

Wild Card Wednesday: Where the wildest experiment is just being reliable to yourself.