Day 11 of Facing My Biggest Fear: Exposure Therapy

When courage becomes a daily practice

Day 11 of my exposure therapy experiment, and something unexpected is happening. I'm actually starting to look forward to putting myself out there on camera and writing blogs. Who knew that facing your biggest fear head-on could become... dare I say it... enjoyable?

The Unexpected Progress

It's getting easier every day. The camera doesn't feel like a judgment machine anymore - it feels like a friend I'm talking to. Maybe that's because I don't have a freelance gig right now and need something constructive to do during the day. Or maybe it's because this daily practice is giving me structure, routine, and something to feel genuinely proud of.

Have I figured out what I want to do career-wise for the rest of my life? Oh hell no! But ideas are percolating. Slowly, but they're brewing.

What Exposure Therapy Actually Looks Like

For those who don't know, I'm doing one of the hardest things I've ever done: putting myself on camera for anyone in the world to see. This was one of my biggest fears - being visible, being judged, being seen in all my messy, imperfect, figuring-it-out glory.

But by looking that fear dead in the eyes and charging toward it every single day, I'm slowly overcoming it. Revolutionary concept, right? Actually, facing the thing that terrifies you makes it less terrifying.

It's not magic. It's not overnight transformation. It's the daily practice of choosing courage over comfort, one video at a time.

The Support System That Matters

Have I told everyone in my life that I'm doing this? Hell no. But the people closest to me know, and that's all I need. My chosen family, my actual family, and my cat are proud of me, even if they don't have TikTok and haven't seen a single video.

That doesn't bother me in the least. Their support isn't contingent on witnessing every moment of my journey. They believe in me, whether they see the daily evidence or not. That's what real support looks like.

Baby Bird Wisdom

A random fact stopped me in my tracks: Baby birds practice chirping while they're still in their eggs. They're literally doing exposure therapy in the shell, preparing their voices before they emerge into the world.

Maybe that's what this whole experiment is - practicing my voice before I fully emerge as whoever I'm becoming. Getting comfortable with the sound of my own truth before I step fully into my next chapter.

The Daily Practice of Courage

Crumpled Ink Day 11, June 19th, 2025: Today, I choose courage over comfort, one video at a time.

This isn't about becoming fearless. Fear is still there - it's just quieter now. This is about building a relationship with fear, where it doesn't get to drive the car anymore.

Every day I pick up my phone, hit record, and choose to show up as I am. Messy hair, uncertain future, figuring it out in real time. And every day it gets a little easier.

What I'm Learning About Fear

Fear isn't something to overcome once and be done with. It's something to dance with daily. It's a conversation partner, not a dictator. It can have opinions, but it doesn't get to make decisions.

The thing about exposure therapy is that it doesn't eliminate the fear - it changes your relationship with it. The fear of being on camera is still there, but it's background noise now instead of a screaming alarm.

Progress, Not Perfection

Day 11 and I'm still here. Still scared, but less scared than yesterday. Still figuring it out, but with more confidence that I'll figure it out.

Ideas are percolating. The routine is helping. The daily practice of courage is building something I didn't expect - not just comfort with being on camera, but comfort with being myself.

And maybe that's the real exposure therapy happening here: getting comfortable not just with the camera but with being fully, authentically, unapologetically me.

Tomorrow, We Get Feral

Tomorrow is Day 12 of this experiment, and honestly? I'm curious to see what comes out when I stop trying to be anything other than exactly who I am.

Thanks for showing up for the messy middle. For proving that courage isn't the absence of fear - it's action in the presence of fear.

One day at a time. One choice at a time.

Day 11 of exposure therapy: Still scared, still here, still choosing courage.